Virus Alert

[itsnotateapot]

Virus ALERT
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”
The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
The virus itself has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.”
The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada...

The Scots have raised their threat level from “fed up Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.”
They don't have any other levels.
This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years...

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.”
The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.”
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.”
Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.”
They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”
Other sources report the situation in Germany has grown so serious, that they have started putting beach towels on hospital beds.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.”
Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.”
So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

The Russians have said “Its not us”

[slosher]

Pretty good un for yo matey that

[mick 63]

nice one Richard .

[zapo]

The Spanish bit made me laugh out loud

[malky]

[Roger Ackery]

""malky" you are obviously an owner of an air cooled twin ?

:

[PaulD738]

Sorry Richard I’m stealing borrowing this

[stevewharton]

Okay Richard, where did you borrow that post from? It's much too clever for a Yorkie to have thought up, including professor Alan Unwin.
Oh by the way, did you hear the tight old Yorkie git's been thrown off here, for talking too much.
I'm hoping they don't let him back on, can you imagine how much tripe we'll have to listen to, while he makes up for lost time.

[Alan H]

Sorry Richard I’m stealing borrowing this

Typical cheesy chesherite, they'll nick owt........

[PaulD738]

Sorry Richard I’m stealing borrowing this

Typical cheesy chesherite, they'll nick owt........

Oi you, revenge is dish best served cold?
Whatever the feck that means