I care not as nobody else posting much!!
Grim Reaper came for me last night, I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner...
Talk about Dyson with death.
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Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "Really", says Mick "Have you seen how many of their Owners go blind?"
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I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - She only had £1.20 in her purse.
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My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker!! Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
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I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid...
Then I was petrified.
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The wife has been missing a week now.. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.
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I went to the Cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later & they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot..
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The granddaughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!
"Blow this," I thought, "I can get one cheaper off the web."
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Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
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I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
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I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably & looked very miserable. I thought to myself, "That guy's heading for a breakdown."
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On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, Why don't we have them in our country?'
Possibly posted previously, but
- Alan H
- Posts: 12104
- Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:38 am
- Location: Wombwell, Republic of South Yorkshire
Possibly posted previously, but
Proof that four strokes are over complicated
- stevewharton
- Posts: 2150
- Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:01 am
- Location: Grimsby, Lincolnshire.
Re: Possibly posted previously, but
Oh dear, Tim Vine eat your heart out
To be fair though some made me chuckle
To be fair though some made me chuckle
Look, my paintwork hasn't got "Fish scales" they're "Dragon scales" right!!! However, after some thought, I will accept "Black Marlin" or "Swordfish", but definitely not "Haddock" or "Cod".
-
- Posts: 1244
- Joined: Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:36 pm
- Location: north lincolnshire
Re: Possibly posted previously, but
Very good! thanks.
i'm in the process of choosing a new stairlift, but can't decide which make to go for... it's driving me up the wall!
Tim Vine and Gary Delaney are the people to look at!
i'm in the process of choosing a new stairlift, but can't decide which make to go for... it's driving me up the wall!
Tim Vine and Gary Delaney are the people to look at!
Andy;
1976 gt750A; 86 FZ750
1977gt380A
1982 z400j
1981 z650f.....1988 Sufolk punch 14"
"look;it's my bike; when you own it ,you can paint it any colour you like!"
(I once painted my Z650 PINK and had the pink panther logo on the tailpiece)
1976 gt750A; 86 FZ750
1977gt380A
1982 z400j
1981 z650f.....1988 Sufolk punch 14"
"look;it's my bike; when you own it ,you can paint it any colour you like!"
(I once painted my Z650 PINK and had the pink panther logo on the tailpiece)