Possibly posted previously, but

You can chat about anything you like here
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Alan H
Posts: 12104
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:38 am
Location: Wombwell, Republic of South Yorkshire

Possibly posted previously, but

Post by Alan H »

I care not as nobody else posting much!!

Grim Reaper came for me last night, I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner...
Talk about Dyson with death.

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Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "Really", says Mick "Have you seen how many of their Owners go blind?"

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I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - She only had £1.20 in her purse.

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My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker!! Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

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I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid...
Then I was petrified.

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The wife has been missing a week now.. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

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A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.

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I went to the Cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later & they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot..

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The granddaughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!
"Blow this," I thought, "I can get one cheaper off the web."

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Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

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I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

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I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably & looked very miserable. I thought to myself, "That guy's heading for a breakdown."

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On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, Why don't we have them in our country?'
Proof that four strokes are over complicated
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stevewharton
Posts: 2150
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:01 am
Location: Grimsby, Lincolnshire.

Re: Possibly posted previously, but

Post by stevewharton »

Oh dear, Tim Vine eat your heart out :roll:

To be fair though some made me chuckle :lol:
Look, my paintwork hasn't got "Fish scales" :x they're "Dragon scales" right!!! However, after some thought, I will accept "Black Marlin" or "Swordfish", but definitely not "Haddock" or "Cod".
wardy
Posts: 1244
Joined: Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:36 pm
Location: north lincolnshire

Re: Possibly posted previously, but

Post by wardy »

Very good! thanks.
i'm in the process of choosing a new stairlift, but can't decide which make to go for... it's driving me up the wall!
Tim Vine and Gary Delaney are the people to look at!
Andy;
1976 gt750A; 86 FZ750
1977gt380A
1982 z400j
1981 z650f.....1988 Sufolk punch 14"
"look;it's my bike; when you own it ,you can paint it any colour you like!"
(I once painted my Z650 PINK and had the pink panther logo on the tailpiece)
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